ideas ideas

I apologize for how shitty the new layout may look.

Uh.

Yeah.

It's clean and makes the words stand out more.

So it's morning and I haven't slept all night, trying to make it through this day though. I want to get my sleep schedule back in order, because for like the past month I've been going to bed at like 3-6 am and waking up at 1-5 pm and it is a terrible terrible habit. Like, I waste the whole day. If it were winter, I would be literally sleeping through the entirety of daylight, which I'm sure is not healthy. So I'll try to get that straight.

Because, man, I want to use my days. Not in a oh these days are numbered and few, must use life to its full potential, because that's a lot of crap. I don't think it's terrible to sleep all day; it certainly feels great. Up to a point, of course, after which it seems like your bones are about to shatter. No, no all I mean is that I have stuff that needs to be done, like within the next month or so, and sleeping all day isn't getting any of that done. Important stuff too, like rereading all the Harry Potter books in time for LeakyCon and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 movie release. Which, that should be self-explanatory.

I'm trying to stay awake. I personally think I can do it, because I've always invested in a philosophy of spirit overcomes the body, which is stupid (though interestingly really related to Christian thought, I've discovered, albeit in less of a GOD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR EARTHLY LIVES and more like my mind is greater than the physical obstacles that stand in its path) and probably not good for either spirit or flesh.

Anyway, I was thinking about something last night, and then I remembered that earlier in the shower I had thought about the novel title I had thought was pretty cool a few days/weeks ago, inspired by a short story called "Life of the Body" by Tobias Wolff (which I should probably read).

The Spirit of the Flesh.

Starting not to like it already. Too overly biblical images, will probably be mistook for a Christian non-fiction book about achieving your true inner light or whatever it is that is God, which is not what the book will be about, pretty sure. Not sure what it will be about, but I wrote a couple hundred words of random stuff, as well as some notes about what it could be about. Also "flesh" isn't as nice a word as I'd previously thought. I mean for all anyone knows it could be a book about some weird guy getting a spiritual understanding about his penis or something. Which it is definitely not about.

It's weird how people write books! How ideas and words from these human beings are transformed over time into these amazing and often cathartic stories we read so eagerly and empathetically.

Apologies for potential unbearableness in reading this given that I am writing it very tired and on no sleep (well! I mean I've gotten sleep in my life, but--). Better to write poop-colored crap than nothing at all.

poetic representation of a dream i had

&06/01/11&

from new jersey
by train or bus
to philadelphia
or thereabouts

stormy weather
maybe a band's playing
it's cold
how'd i get here?

sleek gray amtrak towards pittsburgh
10 minutes, that fast!
drive me to safety
where the hell is this?

*

this station's real crowded
i'm consumed by the space
everyone's huddled together
but i'm stuck out in the rain alone

man did i mention it's midnight
the trees shade the train tracks
i wander around between
the lobby and platforms

idle idle idle
should have planned ahead
several paths to walk
none of them viable

*

let me stay in new york
or new england, hah
even this dark forest
not waiting for a train

hey, you—
are you guys leaving?
will you need that blanket
cause cement's awful cold

2:40 am i'm tired
no restless
they're back to their families
but it's deserted here

*

pick myself off the ground
hours later, post-sleep
stretch my sore limbs
squint at the sun

try not to cry
when the sounds hit my skull
wait for the fever to pass
ground shaking

0500's coming
mighty and virile
hope it takes me someplace good
i'm tired of waiting

If people died and were resurrected periodically at the rate this blog is reborn the world would be filled with zombies of zombies of zombies of z...

Hi.

It's me.

I'm going to write stuff again maybe.

I dislike being lazy and inert.

But goddamn it is so tempting.

Here is a thing that I've observed.

Metaphor isn't always an improvement.

Nor necessarily a sign of quality.

It's just a metaphor.

Sorry, I've been reading some books.

I got an introductory anthology to semiotics* from Goodwill!

Haha this isn't a substantive post or anything.

Just an update to show commitment that I'll do this thing.

More news: later.

---

* A weird study of "signs" somewhere between linguistics, philosophy, sociology, a bunch of stuff. Crazy stuff.