Communication

In spite of all my and something's and whatever's and you know's, I think I'm usually pretty good at words. Sure I can speak condescendingly or sarcastically or obnoxiously verbosely, but it's only to intentionally cloud my intent when I feel like being a dick. Otherwise, in English at least, I'm normally able to express myself enough for the other party to get what I mean.

In India though, where everyone speaks like five hundred different languages[1], it's a bit harder. I mean, for one thing, I can't really express myself to the fullest capacity of language in anything other than English, because it's so innately unnatural for me to assemble words and thoughts and responses and such when I can only really think in English[2]. Which in turn leads to this inability to express myself period to people in India in non-English. And it's not like I can't understand people, because I can comprehend fast Bengali pretty well, even get the gist of rapid Hindi sometimes. But, you know, I grew up speaking English, having pretty solely friends who spoke English, being taught in schools in English, my whole life, so it's a bit hard to grasp another language with such precision and instinct. It's the kind of thing that requires intense study and immersion, neither of which I was too intent on, and I found Bengali  to be too boring and annoying of a language to be worth the time anyway[3]. Point is, I can't really ask a rickshaw driver how his day's been, it's just left, right, avoid that bus!, another right.

My mom, however, has been studied at English-medium schools, lived in America for, like, 15-16 years, and lived about 18 years with a stubbornly American son. And yet she has this deal where she sometimes just can't get a point across to someone and it's visibly frustrating. The thing is she knows what she means but the method by which she conveys this ends up roundabout or foggy, and then she gets mad at the receiving end for misunderstanding.

I mean these aren't really anyone's faults. It's kind of a fault in language itself, in how the ways people think and the ways people communicate don't agree all the time. And it's not just not being able to tell a funny joke well or something, it's this whole business of miscommunication and misunderstanding which is really annoying and painful and harmful for all sorts of relationships. You can't even just decide, Hmm, I'll just contemplate for about five minutes how to phrase this to utter perfection before I voice my opinion, can you?

It's sad that kids get disinterested in language skills and grammar and stuff. The petty little rules and structures that organize how we basically think. How people disregard the importance of grammar at all, as if they were born fully capable of turning these babbles and whines into proper understandable speech. Not like you can even make language really exciting without being patronizing, either. It's the same charts and patterns and diagramming you memorize to oblivion, and hope gets ingrained into your system. So much easier with new languages, somehow. Like you weren't paying attention while your own language got chiseled into your brain, and now you notice, Ooh, conjugations and declensions and tenses and voices? Where the hell did these all come from?

Jeez, this language business is pretty messy.

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Whoops forgot to note footnotes:

1. Actual (Wikipedia) count: 1576 or 1652.
2. I've caught myself counting or telling the time in French. I hated French.
3. My school didn't really care either. Five years and all I could do was slowly read at like 3 wpm. It's especially hard reading in a different script, that too one where letters hang off of freaking bars on the top of the line. And it took forever to write, too.