mom: so, uh, tell me, do you have a...
me: what?
mom: a girlfriend?
me: wha--um, what if I do?
mom: really?
me: okay, so I have a girlfriend, so what?
mom: ooh!
me: ok I'm going...--
mom: wait, who is it?
me: what do you mean? what does it matter???
mom: is it that girl you went to homecoming with?
me: yes.
mom: really? is it the same girl you met that other time?
me: yes...
mom: katy "huffpuff"?
me: *sigh* yes.
mom: ooooh.
me: ok! I get it.
mom: how long...
me: what? we've known each other for like six, seven months.
mom: REALLY?
me: yeah...
mom: and how long have you been...
me: since sunday.
mom: that's the... what date is that?
me: what does that matter???
mom: well, you know, you need to be careful with girls.
me: what? what the hell are you talking about???
mom: you know, you think they like you and everything, but then they like some one else and--
me: are you serious?
mom: oh, you know, especially when you're in college and all. it's rough.
me: ...
mom: I mean, girls--it is a girl, right?
me: what?
mom [serious]: it's a girl; you're not....
me: what? what if it WERE that way? would you approve? would you disown me?
mom: you just wait, until you're older and have children...
me: if it WAS a boy, I wouldn't have any children! Ha!
mom: ...
me [mentally]: owned.
I had another part of the conversation that was really funny and all, but I forgot what it was fml.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
intarnishable
weird. I had an unusually good day. I was gonna write a blog about it and everything, but this dumb blog pretty much explains how I felt today. I mean, except the arkapaino part. I don't even like arkapaino. he's just a ruiner.
but it was funny, like I'd had some kind of felix felicis, and everything was okay. like, in English we talked about LITERARY THEORY and POSTMODERNISM which are like my favorite things ever. And when I was arguing in the hall about freedom of speech and being dumb oppressive majorities, I was like, hahaha you can't beat me now, I'm right, I'm indestructible, your arguments shatter in front of me. Do you know that feeling? I get it sometimes, and it kind of runs through me, and all goes well. Like in French, I was badass and funny and good at paper-mâché and it was great, and I got flour-y dough all over my jeans! Things started to look bad in accounting when I forgot to do my homework and had to turn it in late for a possible 70% score only - oh no! And then I remembered that my grades don't matter anymore, and my high school record was intarnishable, and I am slowly working my way out of a mini-labyrinth of sorts, and it's neat.
I am young and I am good and it's a good day you know!!!
post-publication addendum: I realize I'd never really used "good day" or anything synonymous. I guess I only blog about miserable depressing ungood things??? But yeah, when good things happen, I guess now I can talk about them. I like good things.
but it was funny, like I'd had some kind of felix felicis, and everything was okay. like, in English we talked about LITERARY THEORY and POSTMODERNISM which are like my favorite things ever. And when I was arguing in the hall about freedom of speech and being dumb oppressive majorities, I was like, hahaha you can't beat me now, I'm right, I'm indestructible, your arguments shatter in front of me. Do you know that feeling? I get it sometimes, and it kind of runs through me, and all goes well. Like in French, I was badass and funny and good at paper-mâché and it was great, and I got flour-y dough all over my jeans! Things started to look bad in accounting when I forgot to do my homework and had to turn it in late for a possible 70% score only - oh no! And then I remembered that my grades don't matter anymore, and my high school record was intarnishable, and I am slowly working my way out of a mini-labyrinth of sorts, and it's neat.
I am young and I am good and it's a good day you know!!!
post-publication addendum: I realize I'd never really used "good day" or anything synonymous. I guess I only blog about miserable depressing ungood things??? But yeah, when good things happen, I guess now I can talk about them. I like good things.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
this whole nerd thing
yes I'm a nerd, different from normal stuff
sometimes I think the only thing that is common among all self-declared nerds is social ostracization and a hatred of something popular, usually sports.
sure my way of life is probably better in the long run some how [sic]
but we're all human, and all equally doomed
why is there such a dichotomy between nerds/decepticons
it's like other people who interfere with our celebrated way of life are inferior
which is crap, come on, they are as allowed to do their thing why can't we coexist?
nerdfighters are smart, surely they can come up with something
define nerd.
post-publication addendum: I don't remember posting this; it was a draft but I guess I queued it or something. This isn't tumblr!!! Oh well I guess it holds true. But I didn't mean to post this yet; I was gonna expand!!!
sometimes I think the only thing that is common among all self-declared nerds is social ostracization and a hatred of something popular, usually sports.
sure my way of life is probably better in the long run some how [sic]
but we're all human, and all equally doomed
why is there such a dichotomy between nerds/decepticons
it's like other people who interfere with our celebrated way of life are inferior
which is crap, come on, they are as allowed to do their thing why can't we coexist?
nerdfighters are smart, surely they can come up with something
define nerd.
post-publication addendum: I don't remember posting this; it was a draft but I guess I queued it or something. This isn't tumblr!!! Oh well I guess it holds true. But I didn't mean to post this yet; I was gonna expand!!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I own more books to read than I have read!
2010
read:
- A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers
- The Bermudez Triangle, by Maureen Johnson
- Geektastic (2009)
- How to Read Literature Like a Professor, by Thomas C. Foster (bought a while ago; should read before AP tests...)
- Repotting Harry Potter, by James W. Thomas, PhD (2009 - must finish before sending off GoF)
- Boy Meets Boy, by David Levithan
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky
- Hacking Harvard, by Robin Wasserman
- You Shall Know Our Velocity, by Dave Eggers
- What Is The What, by Dave Eggers
- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, by Ken Kesey
post-publication addendum: I should have listed these in the order they appear. Well.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
cool relatives
I usually don't really talk about stuff that actually happens (I'm more of a theory guy, incidentally, not to mention fiction, or rather, fictitious constructs of real events, especially when I'm talking to people IRL who won't know the difference, and I am just a collection of amusing lies), but I guess since opportunities arise, I might as well take advantage of this.
As none of you will remember, back in April (last year) I mentioned my aunt and uncle coming over to visit us, and they were here this weekend, briefly. They being one of my few (cool) relatives, it was kind of fun.
My aunt works at some fancy Oxford scientific journal, as senior editor, or something, and my uncle's a writer. Well, fancy that, I want to be an editor and a writer!
They were cool to talk to, and during the standard prospective-college-student-talk, they were both happy with my decision to major in English—my decision to "break the Indian-math-science mold." Then we talked about colleges, like Chicago, Columbia, etc. and I talked about how I liked the big cities with awesome publishing companies and opportunities and nerdy student lifestyles, and how they were just perfect for what I wanted, and as an afterthought about how both New York and Chicago had chapters of 826 Valencia, at which my uncle exclaimed—
"Dave Eggers!"
And we talked for a while about Mr. Eggers, and I mentioned that I was reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which a friend had been pestering me to read for months, and we talked about the beauty of literature, and the gross misinterpretation of books like AHWOSG and The Catcher in the Rye, and how some of the greatest books are so profound and ironic, and we talked about the daunting task that is Infinite Jest, and David Foster Wallace, and his Kenyon commencement address, and John Green, and Young Adult literature...
Right so he asked to see some of this John Green's books, so I went upstairs and got Looking for Alaska and Paper Towns, to prove that "Young Adult" doesn't mean bad, low-quality, commercial garbage. And he was pretty impressed. He could discern from a quick skim that there was something deeper-than-surface to the books. This pleased me. I showed him one of John's smart/funny videos (i.e. all of them), and he was further impressed. John, you're welcome for your added readership.
But yeah, it's reassuring that not everyone in my family is crazy-in-a-bad-way and boring. That not everyone thinks I'm doomed to a life of financial instability and petulance. That old people aren't all close-minded and conservative. That people believe in my ability to get by all right in life.
Oh, and I watched Good Will Hunting that (last) night.
My uncle Kenny has two books published, and will assuredly come to me in ten years to edit/publish his future works, because I'm going to be such a fucking successful book editor, y'all just send your manuscripts to me right now.
His bibliography:
Trapped Doors
Defending Infinity
His books seem to be of promising literary merit, and even though he says they're of a more "adult" nature, why the hell should that stop me from reading them?
(Using grey for parenthetical non-essential ironic text is a great thing; reminds me to try to utilize it in some of my real writing.)
As none of you will remember, back in April (last year) I mentioned my aunt and uncle coming over to visit us, and they were here this weekend, briefly. They being one of my few (cool) relatives, it was kind of fun.
My aunt works at some fancy Oxford scientific journal, as senior editor, or something, and my uncle's a writer. Well, fancy that, I want to be an editor and a writer!
They were cool to talk to, and during the standard prospective-college-student-talk, they were both happy with my decision to major in English—my decision to "break the Indian-math-science mold." Then we talked about colleges, like Chicago, Columbia, etc. and I talked about how I liked the big cities with awesome publishing companies and opportunities and nerdy student lifestyles, and how they were just perfect for what I wanted, and as an afterthought about how both New York and Chicago had chapters of 826 Valencia, at which my uncle exclaimed—
"Dave Eggers!"
And we talked for a while about Mr. Eggers, and I mentioned that I was reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which a friend had been pestering me to read for months, and we talked about the beauty of literature, and the gross misinterpretation of books like AHWOSG and The Catcher in the Rye, and how some of the greatest books are so profound and ironic, and we talked about the daunting task that is Infinite Jest, and David Foster Wallace, and his Kenyon commencement address, and John Green, and Young Adult literature...
Right so he asked to see some of this John Green's books, so I went upstairs and got Looking for Alaska and Paper Towns, to prove that "Young Adult" doesn't mean bad, low-quality, commercial garbage. And he was pretty impressed. He could discern from a quick skim that there was something deeper-than-surface to the books. This pleased me. I showed him one of John's smart/funny videos (i.e. all of them), and he was further impressed. John, you're welcome for your added readership.
But yeah, it's reassuring that not everyone in my family is crazy-in-a-bad-way and boring. That not everyone thinks I'm doomed to a life of financial instability and petulance. That old people aren't all close-minded and conservative. That people believe in my ability to get by all right in life.
Oh, and I watched Good Will Hunting that (last) night.
My uncle Kenny has two books published, and will assuredly come to me in ten years to edit/publish his future works, because I'm going to be such a fucking successful book editor, y'all just send your manuscripts to me right now.
His bibliography:
Trapped Doors
Defending Infinity
His books seem to be of promising literary merit, and even though he says they're of a more "adult" nature, why the hell should that stop me from reading them?
(Using grey for parenthetical non-essential ironic text is a great thing; reminds me to try to utilize it in some of my real writing.)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I guess I never posted the finished list of 2009
- Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien
- Let it Snow, by John Green, Maureen Johnson, and Lauren Myracle
- The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Volume 1, by M.T. Anderson
- Harry Potter & Imagination, by Travis Prinzi
- Looking for Alaska, by John Green
- The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck
- The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
- The Great Gatsby*, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
- 1984*, by George Orwell
- Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
- Animal Farm, by George Orwell
- The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
- Peeps, Scott Westerfeld
- Are We There Yet? by David Levithan
- The Last Days, by Scott Westerfeld
- The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks*, by E. Lockhart
- The Catcher in the Rye*, by J.D. Salinger
- Suite Scarlett, by Maureen Johnson
- Summer of ‘42, by Herman Raucher
- The Namesake, by Jhumpa Lahiri
- Scarlett Fever, by Maureen Johnson
- How Harry Cast His Spell, by John Granger
- Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
- Looking for Alaska, by John Green (second read)
- Paper Towns, by John Green (second read)
- Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins
- The Catcher in the Rye (second read)
- Iliad, by Homer
- Othello, by William Shakespear
- Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe
- Let It Snow (second read)
Repotting Harry Potter, by Dr. James Watson(must finish)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Organization
As yesterday's post makes abundantly clear, I am forgetting/struggling with some of this blogging. Like, when I have a story or opinion, it's wonderful and I can write quite a bit on it. Or something I want to just talk about, or something interesting in my life, or just random profound syntax.
But I don't have much structure, in case I run out of things to talk about. Well, I have like thirty un-posted drafts (most of which are just body-less titles) but meh.
So here's a basic thing for me to look to for some organization. And I guess it'll make the blog seem less random. Oh and usually I will actually talk more about these than just the topic, like my opinions and other boring stuff no one cares about.
Monday — school/life/complaining
Tuesday — quotes/lyrics
Wednesday — some philosophical/political/religious/social/something ideas
Thursday — books
Friday — video/music
Saturday — something about me (I'll regret and probably under-use this...)
Sunday — lists/to do/tomorrow
Lots of leniency; I mean, I probably will still randomly blog a lot, but this is a sort of set of guidelines, if you will.
But I don't have much structure, in case I run out of things to talk about. Well, I have like thirty un-posted drafts (most of which are just body-less titles) but meh.
So here's a basic thing for me to look to for some organization. And I guess it'll make the blog seem less random. Oh and usually I will actually talk more about these than just the topic, like my opinions and other boring stuff no one cares about.
Monday — school/life/complaining
Tuesday — quotes/lyrics
Wednesday — some philosophical/political/religious/social/something ideas
Thursday — books
Friday — video/music
Saturday — something about me (I'll regret and probably under-use this...)
Sunday — lists/to do/tomorrow
Lots of leniency; I mean, I probably will still randomly blog a lot, but this is a sort of set of guidelines, if you will.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Red Green has pooped INSIDE my Nintendo.
I don’t mean that he pooped next to the Nintendo, or that he pooped on top of the Nintendo, he pooped inside the game slot of the Nintendo. There was poop in there: Red Green poop. Because he knew I loved it! And so he sidled up to it, and he turned his bottom around, and angled it so that he could, like, projectile poop inside the Nintendo.
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